eBrizz

So Newt Gingrich now says we should build a base on the Moon. For what purpose? With what money? I can't imagine why he said such a thing when he was in Florida... Oh - I get it.

Another SOTU and another plea for collectivism, government spending and, of course, the president's need for four more years. The only thing missing from his speech is the part that's actually mandated by the Constitution: The state of the union! How does our GDP compare to our debt? What are we paying in interest? How soon will our entitlement programs go broke?

If you owned a company and your CFO gave a smoke-up-your-ass speech like that instead of reporting on the financials you'd get a new CFO.

I saw a protestor carrying a sign that said "We're an investment - not an entitlement." In the real world, if you want me to invest in you or your business, you first have to convince me that it will be financially worthwhile for me to invest in you. In this case, these people really want the government to steal my money and give it to them which they justify by calling it an "investment." But guess what? It's really an entitlement, isn't it?

2011

Note to my newspaper: Please move Paul Krugman's column to the comics page where it belongs.

Also, you might as well move Doonesbury to the obituary page.

So it's been 42 years since the United States made the huge blunder of landing on the moon. Easily the dumbest thing we ever did because it just gave fuel to every do-gooder, progressive and loon. If we can put a man on the moon then why can't we have universal healthcare? If we can put a man on the moon then why can't we feed everyone in the world? If we can put a man on the moon then why can't we build high-speed rail? If we can put a man on the moon then why can't we ever find a freestanding Chick-fil-A?

Let me start by saying that I love the oil companies. They go into crazy, dirty countries and deal with crazy, dirty people. They drill huge wells, put the oil into tankers, ship it here, refine it into gasoline, load the gas into tankers and deliver it to my neighborhood for my convenience.

Congress has been grilling the oil companies over high prices while the president has been blaming “speculators.” Both viewpoints are incorrect.

The price of gasoline in 1964 was $0.30 per gallon BUT back then our money was backed by silver or gold. Coins back then were 90% silver as opposed to today’s coins which are 100% crap. So in 1964 you could buy a gallon of gas for three dimes or about 1/3 ounce of silver.

As I write this (which is right after the recent correction), the price of silver is about $36 an ounce and the price of gasoline is about $4.00 per gallon. Roughly, that means 1/3 ounce of silver will buy more than TWO gallons of gasoline today. In other words, in real terms, gasoline is far cheaper now than it was in 1964.

Lay off the oil companies. The real culprits here are the Fed and the federal government inflating and destroying our currency.

The other night I watched a show about the greatest movies of all time as voted on by simians. Gone With the Wind was voted the best picture with The Godfather in second place. Fletch was a better movie than either of those two. Casablanca (which should have won) was third. They also had a category for best screen kiss and the top spot went to Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh in GWTW. What a load of crap.

Didn't any of the voters see A Mighty Wind?

In the SOTU address, I see that the parsdent is still pushing his insane high-speed rail idea. First, since this is a government undertaking, you may reliably take whatever they project the construction cost to be and double it. And with high probability, you can triple it. And I'll put even money on quadrupling it.

Second, a little simple math (all I'm capable of) shows the flaw in using trains to transport passengers: Assume the train carries 1000 passengers who each weigh 200 pounds. All of that weight can be carried on ONE flatbed rail car. From that we may assume that freight trains are very efficient and passenger trains are just plain stupid.

Finally, fully aware of the inefficiencies, proponents believe that a passenger rail system is cost effective if 25% of its operating costs come from fares. In other words, after shelling out huge sums of money to build this turkey, the taxpayers will be on the hook for paying 75% of the operating costs - FOREVER.

2010

So President Obama's Science Advisor John Holdren now says we should start calling global warming "global climate disruption" instead. Back in the 70's he told us we were heading for a new ice age but when that didn't happen he changed it to global warming. Now that people are no longer buying the warming story, he wants to change it to something else - something with a really scary name.

In a related story, the producers of high-fructose corn syrup want to change the name of their product to "corn sugar." Turns out that HFCS, being linked to diabetes, obesity and a host of other diseases, now has a bad reputation. So instead of taking this poison off the market, they too just want to change the name.

The one thing these stories have in common? These people think you're stupid.

Let's get this straight: Petulant flight attendant boy is a narcissist who doesn't care whether he causes his passengers to miss their connections or be late for their appointments. Nor does he care about the cost, not only of replacing the emergency slide, but of taking the plane out of service for an unplanned maintenance.

So stop calling this detritus a hero - he belongs in prison and five years sounds just about right.

A lot of people (mostly Democrats) have been impugning the intelligence of Alvin Greene, the newly-nominated Senate candidate from South Carolina. I'm not exactly sure why except for the fact that he talks very slowly and doesn't seem to understand much about politics. But you could give him a frontal lobotomy, sever his corpus callosum and hit him in the head with a hammer and he'd still be smarter than Maxine Waters.

A picture of Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan playing softball, which was recently published in the Wall Street Journal, is causing a small uproar among the overly-sensitive. Apparently, if you show a picture of a woman playing softball it means you're implying she's lesbian. Who knew? But back in 2000 we sure saw this photo a lot:

I guess Bush is a lesbian too.

So President Obama criticized the new Arizona immigration law and said, "But now suddenly if you don’t have your papers and you took your kid out to get ice cream, you’re going to be harassed, that’s something that could potentially happen." I can certainly empathize with Latinos fearing they will be harassed by the government because of their race.

That's because it has happened to me - just this past week - when a surly census taker came to my door demanding to know my race. I explained to him that I had sent in the form with the information the government had a right to know, namely, how many people are living in the house. He didn't seem to care much for that answer. After arguing for a few minutes and trying to intimidate with the threat of a fine, he snottily said "I'll go ask your neighbors" and he turned and walked away. I'm guessing that after trying to get my neighbors to rat on me, the little snipe invaded Poland.

So, Mr. President, how about showing as much concern for the rights and privacy of U.S. citizens as you show for those here illegally?

That's a nasty oil spill in the gulf. Too bad BP didn't buy oil spill credits.

So new reports are coming out that say Vitamin D can be effective in preventing and even reversing cancer. This is on top of the research that shows how useful it is in battling or preventing MS, ALS, strokes, heart disease, osteoporosis, flu, the common cold and a host of other diseases and ailments.

So why are we so deficient in Vitamin D all of a sudden? Gee, I don't know. Maybe it's because for the last forty years, so-called "experts" have told us to avoid the two most natural sources of Vitamin D: sunlight and saturated fat.

Idiots.

We had an injured sea lion out in San Francisco Bay and he kept eluding rescuers. When they finally caught him, a local news anchor reported that "They decided to name him Abagnale after the character played by Leo DiCaprio in the film 'Catch Me If You Can.'" Really? That's like saying they named him Abraham Lincoln after a character played by Raymond Massey in "How The West Was Won."

So our local news media is rejoicing that finally the steel structures for the new Bay Bridge are arriving from China. Not a hint of concern nor even a small flash of recognition that this great American bridge is being built overseas.

Meanwhile, there are lots of old men sitting on park benches in Pittsburgh, bragging about how much money they used to make before their union priced them all out of work and bankrupted their companies.